Dear everyone.
This will be the last update again for a few weeks. I will be traveling a lot and im not too sure if i will have time to update.
Il be sure to post up a massive update when I get back to Sydney for Christmas.
Well the day has finally arrived. After a very long weekend of drinking, dancing, feasting, un-adulterated fun and some skinny dipping Conor and I are leaving Melbourne. Im sad to be leaving because i feel like its been like a home away from home. I have a very tight group of friends here. Ones I hope to keep for life. Some people I wish I had met earlier in my stay. Im sorry that this is so short but Im pressed for time. When I should have been packing I was sleeping or arseing around.
Il leave you all with this.
If i go missing..........DONT TOUCH MY STUFF
Peace
Redman
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Horseing around
Lucky breaks, lucky draws and lucky runs
Just spent the week feeding the rich, getting bad horse tips and learning to hate ridiculously rich people. All loathing of wealthy fat people in suits aside the week was pretty cool. I worked in the most expensive club in the flemmington complex. Flemington has about 15-20 bar/restaurants which range from a shack where you can buy a 7 year old sausage roll from a one eyed, buckled old woman to where I was working where you can have pheasant stuffed with swan stuffed with gold and all glazed with tears of the poor. The Chairman's Club is a 40,000 dollar a year high society club where 59 year old men and their 24 year old girlfriends can be fed and pampered by very well trained staff and some kick ass chefs. The first order I had to run with was for a 200 dollar bottle of champagne. They drank one glass and left the rest to go flat in the silver lined ice bucket. I kept thinking that it would have been better if they had just gave me the 200 dollars and we all would have been happy. These people, in my view, dont have a grasp on the true value of money. They put down 500 quid on a horse only to loose it and then they simply react by saying "Ah it was only 500 dollars" They honestly pissed me off. Despite the rich egos and money wasting I did kind of enjoy it. I had the best view of the race course and some of the tips I got were well placed. In fact on the last day I manged to turn 3 dollars into 76 dollars
which I think is a good win.
Australia Vs Sri-Lanka
I also had the pleasure of watching 7 and a half hours of cricket. 450 minutes of no-stop blitzing cricket action surrounded by crazy cricket supporters. I watched more sport in that day than I have in my entire life. Cricket, once you understand it, is actually a cool sport. What made this particular match excellent was that there was a total of 19000 people in the stadium. 3 Irish guys, 997 ozzies and 18000 Sri Lankans. Lanka were kicking the Ozzies asses and they were loving it. It took Connor 7 hours to explain what was going on but I fully understood and for the last half an hour I got that you get to dance every 2 minutes and sing "Go that guy, go that guy, go."
The Lanka boys were living it up. Here I was thinking that cricket was about as entertaining as having your eyeballs flogged but I was surrounded buy by men who I can only describe as looking like drug smugglers from Del Monty Island singing with a brass band and roaring abuse at the Ozzy team. I have to say it was freaking awesome. I have a 2 simple photos to describe how the day went.
It went from not understanding the game
to this...........
I dont think I need to say anything else.
2 weeks to go until Cunningham and I hit the road on our awesome adventure tour of the east coast. Il be sure to update again before I leave.
Redman out
Just spent the week feeding the rich, getting bad horse tips and learning to hate ridiculously rich people. All loathing of wealthy fat people in suits aside the week was pretty cool. I worked in the most expensive club in the flemmington complex. Flemington has about 15-20 bar/restaurants which range from a shack where you can buy a 7 year old sausage roll from a one eyed, buckled old woman to where I was working where you can have pheasant stuffed with swan stuffed with gold and all glazed with tears of the poor. The Chairman's Club is a 40,000 dollar a year high society club where 59 year old men and their 24 year old girlfriends can be fed and pampered by very well trained staff and some kick ass chefs. The first order I had to run with was for a 200 dollar bottle of champagne. They drank one glass and left the rest to go flat in the silver lined ice bucket. I kept thinking that it would have been better if they had just gave me the 200 dollars and we all would have been happy. These people, in my view, dont have a grasp on the true value of money. They put down 500 quid on a horse only to loose it and then they simply react by saying "Ah it was only 500 dollars" They honestly pissed me off. Despite the rich egos and money wasting I did kind of enjoy it. I had the best view of the race course and some of the tips I got were well placed. In fact on the last day I manged to turn 3 dollars into 76 dollars
which I think is a good win.
Australia Vs Sri-Lanka
I also had the pleasure of watching 7 and a half hours of cricket. 450 minutes of no-stop blitzing cricket action surrounded by crazy cricket supporters. I watched more sport in that day than I have in my entire life. Cricket, once you understand it, is actually a cool sport. What made this particular match excellent was that there was a total of 19000 people in the stadium. 3 Irish guys, 997 ozzies and 18000 Sri Lankans. Lanka were kicking the Ozzies asses and they were loving it. It took Connor 7 hours to explain what was going on but I fully understood and for the last half an hour I got that you get to dance every 2 minutes and sing "Go that guy, go that guy, go."
The Lanka boys were living it up. Here I was thinking that cricket was about as entertaining as having your eyeballs flogged but I was surrounded buy by men who I can only describe as looking like drug smugglers from Del Monty Island singing with a brass band and roaring abuse at the Ozzy team. I have to say it was freaking awesome. I have a 2 simple photos to describe how the day went.
It went from not understanding the game
to this...........
I dont think I need to say anything else.
2 weeks to go until Cunningham and I hit the road on our awesome adventure tour of the east coast. Il be sure to update again before I leave.
Redman out
Monday, November 1, 2010
Redman rage
A few simple steps to make a red man rage.
1. Get him up early
2. Make it rain really, really hard.
3. Make him walk in the rain to a packed tram
4. Make the tram late.
5. When he gets off the tram surround him by people moving really slowly
6. Make him work in a really shitty uniform thats 10 sizes too big for him
7. Make him run EVERWHERE
8. When he gets his break make sure all the food is gone
9. Make him finish early when he is getting saturday rates
10. Make him walk in the rain again
11. Fill a train with extremely drunk people and put Redman in the middle
12. Stop the train for about 15 minutes 3 meters away from his station.
13. Make the drunk people talk to him about how much money they have to waste on horses
14. Make him walk in the rain......again
15. Finally when he looks in his cubard ensure he has already eaten everything he had.
Rage
How to make him happy
1. Feed him
Thats it. Maybe give him gifts.....and tell him hes hansom.......and clever.
1. Get him up early
2. Make it rain really, really hard.
3. Make him walk in the rain to a packed tram
4. Make the tram late.
5. When he gets off the tram surround him by people moving really slowly
6. Make him work in a really shitty uniform thats 10 sizes too big for him
7. Make him run EVERWHERE
8. When he gets his break make sure all the food is gone
9. Make him finish early when he is getting saturday rates
10. Make him walk in the rain again
11. Fill a train with extremely drunk people and put Redman in the middle
12. Stop the train for about 15 minutes 3 meters away from his station.
13. Make the drunk people talk to him about how much money they have to waste on horses
14. Make him walk in the rain......again
15. Finally when he looks in his cubard ensure he has already eaten everything he had.
Rage
How to make him happy
1. Feed him
Thats it. Maybe give him gifts.....and tell him hes hansom.......and clever.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Dearly Forsaken
Dear followers, readers and random Google finders,
My apologies for the massive delay in the posting of a recent update. I have, in all honesty, been too tired, lazy, too busy and just too drunk to post anything up. As i had not foreseen any of these events I pass all blame onto Connor Cunningham.
Right, down to business. Im sure the delay in my updates has had people asking "ohhh I wonder is he ok?' or "Is he getting enough sleep?" Who is Conor Cunningham?" and naturally "I wonder is he still as hansom as ever?" Well my mighty followers Im perfectly alright, I get enough sleep, if you dont know who Conor Cunningham is you are missing out and yes, oh course im as hansom and as modest as ever. Now that all of your major concerns are dealt with I shall move onto the news.
Im sure that those of you on facebook saw the photos of me in the Grampians national park. If you didn't I suggest you go right now to my humble and modest facebook page and make your life a little more complete by looking as me sweating it out on top of a mountain. In all seriousness the Grampians were breathtaking. The views where spectacular and so vast that I dont have the words to describe them. A good friend and I rented a small car and drove the whole three and a half hours too the park. Just to let people know that the good friend wasn't Conor because he was too busy following a bus full of mexicans to Alice Springs. The best part of the whole trip for me was the driving. It felt so good to be behind a wheel again and despite a few arguments with the sat nav on whether a road existed or not we never got lost and made good time. The road up the mountain side were kick ass. All bendy and brilliant. It was like one of those roads you see on top gear where they drive an Ascari A10 with a tail wing up a Swedish hillside except I had a Hyundai Gets with a dodgy radio and Im clearly not in Sweden.
here is a sketch that my friend Eva drew of our journey to the Grampians that pretty much some up the trip.
The 150th Melbourne cup is on next week and Il be working at it. For those of you who have never heard of it before its a 4 day horse racing festival here in Melbourne and its no small thing. 400000 people will attend it over the 4 days and shizz loads of politicians, celebrities and all round important people will grace the grasses with their extremely high heeled shoes and hats that look like Christmas decorations that were made in 1952 and destroyed in a freak forest fire only to be remade into hats. I look forward to making fun of them. The main race, the actual melbourne cup race, basically brings the country to a standstill. The day it falls on was made into a public holiday so nearly everyone in this sun blasted land will have the day off to shout abuse or praise at the best horses in the world. I may lay a bet or two myself while Im ushering food and drink to Melbourne's high and mighty.
I only have 4 weeks left in Melbourne before Conor and I head on our trip up the east coast followed by a nice long Christmas with family in Sydney. I have to say that I am getting really excited about this trip up the coast. Ive been in the same place for too long and although Im brilliant at my job, everyone loves me and Ive made loads of friends I cant wait to see all the new places on our travel map. Its going be epic.
Redman out.
My apologies for the massive delay in the posting of a recent update. I have, in all honesty, been too tired, lazy, too busy and just too drunk to post anything up. As i had not foreseen any of these events I pass all blame onto Connor Cunningham.
Right, down to business. Im sure the delay in my updates has had people asking "ohhh I wonder is he ok?' or "Is he getting enough sleep?" Who is Conor Cunningham?" and naturally "I wonder is he still as hansom as ever?" Well my mighty followers Im perfectly alright, I get enough sleep, if you dont know who Conor Cunningham is you are missing out and yes, oh course im as hansom and as modest as ever. Now that all of your major concerns are dealt with I shall move onto the news.
Im sure that those of you on facebook saw the photos of me in the Grampians national park. If you didn't I suggest you go right now to my humble and modest facebook page and make your life a little more complete by looking as me sweating it out on top of a mountain. In all seriousness the Grampians were breathtaking. The views where spectacular and so vast that I dont have the words to describe them. A good friend and I rented a small car and drove the whole three and a half hours too the park. Just to let people know that the good friend wasn't Conor because he was too busy following a bus full of mexicans to Alice Springs. The best part of the whole trip for me was the driving. It felt so good to be behind a wheel again and despite a few arguments with the sat nav on whether a road existed or not we never got lost and made good time. The road up the mountain side were kick ass. All bendy and brilliant. It was like one of those roads you see on top gear where they drive an Ascari A10 with a tail wing up a Swedish hillside except I had a Hyundai Gets with a dodgy radio and Im clearly not in Sweden.
here is a sketch that my friend Eva drew of our journey to the Grampians that pretty much some up the trip.
The 150th Melbourne cup is on next week and Il be working at it. For those of you who have never heard of it before its a 4 day horse racing festival here in Melbourne and its no small thing. 400000 people will attend it over the 4 days and shizz loads of politicians, celebrities and all round important people will grace the grasses with their extremely high heeled shoes and hats that look like Christmas decorations that were made in 1952 and destroyed in a freak forest fire only to be remade into hats. I look forward to making fun of them. The main race, the actual melbourne cup race, basically brings the country to a standstill. The day it falls on was made into a public holiday so nearly everyone in this sun blasted land will have the day off to shout abuse or praise at the best horses in the world. I may lay a bet or two myself while Im ushering food and drink to Melbourne's high and mighty.
I only have 4 weeks left in Melbourne before Conor and I head on our trip up the east coast followed by a nice long Christmas with family in Sydney. I have to say that I am getting really excited about this trip up the coast. Ive been in the same place for too long and although Im brilliant at my job, everyone loves me and Ive made loads of friends I cant wait to see all the new places on our travel map. Its going be epic.
Redman out.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Bear Grillin'
Conor has finally arrived and despite popular belief we haven't been in trouble yet. He almost killed a child with a football but that's another story. Just been working hard and saving money. Conor has booked himself a 10 day trip to and back to Alice springs. As much as Id like to be going with him I just can afford it but now that Conor is here the real trip planning has begun. Some serious traveling will be done from the 22nd of November onwards. The basic outline of the plan is Sydney first and then after visiting family there its off to "Spot X" for a four day surfing blitz. When I say "Spot X" I really mean spot x. Its a surfing resort thats hidden away from the usual public. Exclusive to surfers. After that its off to Brisbane. This is where he plan gets a little sketchy. We will have about 7 days in and around Brisbane. I plan on meeting family there and heading a bit further north. There were a few reasons for me to coming to Australia and one of the main reasons was to visit Fraser Island. Thats defiantly on the travel list. After this we will finally rent out a camper van and drive from brisbane back to Melbourne traveling all along the coast. Its gona be awesome.
Today we took the train out of Sydney to a place called Belgrave where the Dandenong National parks are. It was awesome. We were surrounded by fresh air and forest. It was a real Bear Grills day. Trudging our way through the forest, surviving off the land....and the sandwiches we brought with us. I would love to say that there was a great view at the top of the first mountain, thats right we climbed two, but there was so much forest that we couldn't see around. I don't know why its called "One Tree Hill" there is, after some counting, clearly more than one tree. In fact the where a whole bunch of trees. Some might say it was a forest. So why not call it "Forest Hill"? The second mountain I would aptly name "Bitching climb to the water fall Hill" but its called "Sherbrook Hill" We didn't meet anyone the whole way up. It was like a scene from Jurassic Park minus the dinosaurs. Totally worth the hour long train journey.
I will leave you all with these puzzles.
How much bear could Bear Grills grill if Bear Grills could grill bears?
and
How much bears could Bear Grills bear if Bear Grills could bear bears?
Today we took the train out of Sydney to a place called Belgrave where the Dandenong National parks are. It was awesome. We were surrounded by fresh air and forest. It was a real Bear Grills day. Trudging our way through the forest, surviving off the land....and the sandwiches we brought with us. I would love to say that there was a great view at the top of the first mountain, thats right we climbed two, but there was so much forest that we couldn't see around. I don't know why its called "One Tree Hill" there is, after some counting, clearly more than one tree. In fact the where a whole bunch of trees. Some might say it was a forest. So why not call it "Forest Hill"? The second mountain I would aptly name "Bitching climb to the water fall Hill" but its called "Sherbrook Hill" We didn't meet anyone the whole way up. It was like a scene from Jurassic Park minus the dinosaurs. Totally worth the hour long train journey.
I will leave you all with these puzzles.
How much bear could Bear Grills grill if Bear Grills could grill bears?
and
How much bears could Bear Grills bear if Bear Grills could bear bears?
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Full of it
Im nicely settled in now. Haven't been up to much except working and some of the places I have been in have been pretty cool. Im working in a company called "Hotel Staff" In a nut shell a person needs extra help in their kitchen/restaurant/ball room/multi-million Jewish house, they call my boss, they ask for "X" amount of people, my boss rings said "X" amount and we go to that place and help out. Its freaking easy and I usually get fed. Smile, take your time and talk nice. Couldn't be simpler. I clean tables, serve wine clean up, all that stuff. The getting fed part is my favorite, that and the getting to see cool places.
My first day i worked at a cocktail party on the 33rd floor of a multi-story building. The view was amazing. I could see the whole way across the city and the sun was setting. Last week I worked in the kitchen of the mazda HQ. Got to see advertisement plans that aren't out yet plus some design plans. This week I was in the BMW HQ and I got to see a prototype of a new BMW that wont be on the production lines until late next year and it had a new fancy V8 engine that still isn't out of its 2nd BETA faze (not to sure about what they call the different stages of engine making so BETA will have to do) Yesterday I worked in a million dollar house for a Jewish family celebrating the Jewish new year. MY GOD it was fancy. Filthy rich fancy. Indoor swimming pool, tennis court, 3 kitchens, silver everything, 200 dollar wine and so on. What struck me most about last night was that even tho these people were SURROUNDED by luxury there was still a huge felling of a close family. It was nice to see that endless amounts of money didn't effect the closeness the family had. It made me miss home.
This new job has me thinking a lot. Im sure a lot of people out there, including myself, get nervous on the first day or two of their new job. You don't know the people, your not too sure what exactly you are supposed to be doing, when will you get fed and so on. You know, first day jitters. Every day in this job is that first day. You need to believe that you can do it and you are always in somewhere new. It made me start thinking about self belief.
People have a hard time believing in themselves. Some people rely on others, some on themselves and some get it from both. Ive seen people crippled, again myself, by relying completely on another person for belief. Ive seen belief come from nothing, everything and anyone. Iv learned something over the last year. I believe in myself. I believe in myself, my family and my friends. I believe that if you want others to believe in you you have to have some of that spark in yourself. The more I believe in me the more others react to my belief, the more I have in myself the more I share with others. A big old loop.
What I want to get at is that if you are feeling down or a bit out of yourself remember who you are. Remember to believe in yourself, remember where you came from and who your friends are, remember your family, remember easy days and long nights, remember your heros and remember your mentors. There is ALWAYS belief in you, you just have to remember it and it will help you do anything.
Redman out.
On a lighter note fell free to count how many times I said believe, believing or belief. ha
My first day i worked at a cocktail party on the 33rd floor of a multi-story building. The view was amazing. I could see the whole way across the city and the sun was setting. Last week I worked in the kitchen of the mazda HQ. Got to see advertisement plans that aren't out yet plus some design plans. This week I was in the BMW HQ and I got to see a prototype of a new BMW that wont be on the production lines until late next year and it had a new fancy V8 engine that still isn't out of its 2nd BETA faze (not to sure about what they call the different stages of engine making so BETA will have to do) Yesterday I worked in a million dollar house for a Jewish family celebrating the Jewish new year. MY GOD it was fancy. Filthy rich fancy. Indoor swimming pool, tennis court, 3 kitchens, silver everything, 200 dollar wine and so on. What struck me most about last night was that even tho these people were SURROUNDED by luxury there was still a huge felling of a close family. It was nice to see that endless amounts of money didn't effect the closeness the family had. It made me miss home.
This new job has me thinking a lot. Im sure a lot of people out there, including myself, get nervous on the first day or two of their new job. You don't know the people, your not too sure what exactly you are supposed to be doing, when will you get fed and so on. You know, first day jitters. Every day in this job is that first day. You need to believe that you can do it and you are always in somewhere new. It made me start thinking about self belief.
People have a hard time believing in themselves. Some people rely on others, some on themselves and some get it from both. Ive seen people crippled, again myself, by relying completely on another person for belief. Ive seen belief come from nothing, everything and anyone. Iv learned something over the last year. I believe in myself. I believe in myself, my family and my friends. I believe that if you want others to believe in you you have to have some of that spark in yourself. The more I believe in me the more others react to my belief, the more I have in myself the more I share with others. A big old loop.
What I want to get at is that if you are feeling down or a bit out of yourself remember who you are. Remember to believe in yourself, remember where you came from and who your friends are, remember your family, remember easy days and long nights, remember your heros and remember your mentors. There is ALWAYS belief in you, you just have to remember it and it will help you do anything.
Redman out.
On a lighter note fell free to count how many times I said believe, believing or belief. ha
Monday, August 30, 2010
Mellers
Melbourne is awesome. I gotta say I love it here. The city has a real nice buzz to it that you dont find in many places. Been busy enough this week so I haven't had a chance to look around much and to be honest Im kinda saving all that for when Conor gets here. Just took a walk around the city a small bit and found all the cool arty lanes that are riddled with graffiti. Kick ass graffiti. Some of the most awesome pieces I have ever seen. Il post up some pics on facetube when I get the chance.
Got myself a job but Im not sure if its one of those "come and work for us for a day or two and we will see how you get on" places. I think Ive been screwed and not the good kind. The job did seem too good to be true. I sat in an office all day making phone calls trying to get people to switch their electricity biller to my one because it was cheaper. It was a pretty good deal but on one occasion I got through to this old man who was recovering in hospital. I didnt want to bother him as he was recovering so I told him not to worry about it. After I hung up the woman working beside me asked me "Why the hell didnt I try to sell it so him? People in hospital are perfect. They always want to talk to someone" It was from that moment on I realized the true horror or telemarketing.
These people will do ANYTHING to get a sale. I was really annoyed. I dont want to sell stuff to people who only buy stuff off the telephone because it gives them someone to talk to for 15 min. It makes me really sad. Lets just say I wasnt exactly disappointed when I didn't get a call back to work on Saturday. Its back to the job boards Im afraid.
Went to see the Tim Burton exposition and I have to say it was FREAKING AWESOME
It had hundreds of his sketches and paintings as well as a few models from well known movies like Nightmare before Christmas, Edward scissor hands, Charlie and the chocolate factory, batman returns and so on. I saw the freaking bat-mobile. It was amazing. Im going to wait for Conor and go back again because the only draw back was that I went on a saturday and it was packed with people.
Im finally going to bust out the guitar. Im pretty much running out of money so Im going to have to busk. It means learning a few songs I dont particularly care for but il swallow my pride if it means making a copper or two singing and a playing a few cords. I welcome any (real) song suggestions. Fell free to facebook me.
Redman out....and about
Got myself a job but Im not sure if its one of those "come and work for us for a day or two and we will see how you get on" places. I think Ive been screwed and not the good kind. The job did seem too good to be true. I sat in an office all day making phone calls trying to get people to switch their electricity biller to my one because it was cheaper. It was a pretty good deal but on one occasion I got through to this old man who was recovering in hospital. I didnt want to bother him as he was recovering so I told him not to worry about it. After I hung up the woman working beside me asked me "Why the hell didnt I try to sell it so him? People in hospital are perfect. They always want to talk to someone" It was from that moment on I realized the true horror or telemarketing.
These people will do ANYTHING to get a sale. I was really annoyed. I dont want to sell stuff to people who only buy stuff off the telephone because it gives them someone to talk to for 15 min. It makes me really sad. Lets just say I wasnt exactly disappointed when I didn't get a call back to work on Saturday. Its back to the job boards Im afraid.
Went to see the Tim Burton exposition and I have to say it was FREAKING AWESOME
It had hundreds of his sketches and paintings as well as a few models from well known movies like Nightmare before Christmas, Edward scissor hands, Charlie and the chocolate factory, batman returns and so on. I saw the freaking bat-mobile. It was amazing. Im going to wait for Conor and go back again because the only draw back was that I went on a saturday and it was packed with people.
Im finally going to bust out the guitar. Im pretty much running out of money so Im going to have to busk. It means learning a few songs I dont particularly care for but il swallow my pride if it means making a copper or two singing and a playing a few cords. I welcome any (real) song suggestions. Fell free to facebook me.
Redman out....and about
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